Tears

I have always thought of myself as a very happy person but I also realize that with any one emotion being very strong the others are likely strong as well! So it's no real surprise to me that I LOVE big and have been brought to tears more in the last 6 months than ever before in my life! I have happy tears when I laugh and laugh or sad ones at times but by far the most tears have come from the loss of sweet babies. Until I was pregnant I had no idea that I had so many friends who had or have now experienced the loss of a tiny life. My life will never be the same and I both pray for these families and praise God for giving them the strength to not just go on but make a difference in others lives from their loss.

Jessica and Ryan, Katie and Jason and Meredith and Patrick have shared their stories, pictures and struggles with myself and the world and for that I am forever blessed, humbled, uplifted and grateful but the emotion that continues to wash over me is sadness and I can't seem to shake it. I tear up every time I see sweet baby Miller's face and while there are not near as many public photos of Reese or Wyatt I know that their photos would affect me the same. I want to do something. Something to make the pain that my friends have felt and will always feel go away but the only thing I can do is pray and so I do. Then I look at my sweet little girl's photos on my desk and I tear up because the day can't come to an end soon enough for me to get to Just Like Home and pick up my sweet baby. I want to hold her and never let her go. I worry that if something ever happened to her that I would never recover much less be able to touch so many lives in the ways that these incredible friends of mine have.

As a mom I "worry" that I will always worry about something even though I know it's a completely a waste of time.

It is a never ending cycle but again...all I can do is pray and thank God for every day that I have with Emma and everyone in my family too!

Philippians 4:6-7 ESV 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7 ESV 

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 

Be blessed!!!

BLOWOUTS...and other happenings

So we've made it through the first week without Daddy and by far the biggest issue we have struggled with is blowouts!!! Emma's ear infections seem to be gone but what is still here is diarrhea thanks to the antibiotics!! :-( Yesterday Emma had 4 blowouts at daycare and Mommy had to run to Target over lunch to get her some more onzies since she was kicking it in her diaper. Her little bottom is getting red so we are using diaper cream now at EVERY diaper change! One more day of antibiotics and hopefully back to normal poops.

Emma has also been being a super sweet girl and sleeping great. That could be the reason she is so happy in the mornings for her photos. She has now slept for 12 hours straight!! I remember thinking if she ever slept for 4 hours it would be a miracle and who knew that 5 months later I would be able to actually rest. This morning my little girl was hungry and woke me up at 4. I tried to pacify her with her passy but it wasn't going to happen so I heated up her bottle and she took 5 1/2 oz like it was nothing and just kept sucking. So I heated up another 1 1/2 and she downed that too!! She was up and in a good mood so I decided to take the time to do her 5 month photo shoot. Since she is normally such a smiley baby this is a new look for her...a little pensive but still happy. She worked with me for some shots and then decided that she was ready for a nap at 5:30. I just wish I had gone back to sleep too. :0)

The pups are ready for a cool down so that they can get their walks back. Right now it's just too hot for Emma to be out there and by the time it's cooled off Emma is asleep. So today I sat in the backyard and threw the ball for Brinkley and Gabby for an hour with the monitor out there with me. Sure the house can be cleaned and there are many things I should be doing but my furry babies need attention too! Maybe they can go to Dog Party USA tomorrow for a play day!!

And now for some shout outs!!! I have been blessed with some of the best friends a girl could ask for!! I always knew I was lucky but with Michael away the love is really pouring in from every direction. I know I can't name everyone who has offered to do ANYTHING I need but here are some that have been specific with offers... 

Elizabeth Smith who has two beautiful little ones of her own has offered to watch Emma for me while I do some shopping of if I just need a little break. She even said that since she has 2...one more should be easy!

Bethany Runyan comes and spends the evening with the two of us one night a week to break up the "alone" time for mommy. I know I am not alone here but with no discernible words from Emma just yet I could use a conversation partner and Bethany is great to just hang out with us...even if we are fussy!

Elizabeth Sullivan had us over for dinner last night and Brinkley and Gabby even got to go play in her backyard with Pickle (their four legged baby). She is doing her best to make sure that every dinner throughout the week doesn't consist of bread...(actual dinner when left to my own devises: 3 mini spring rolls, 2 mini sausage and biscuits, cinnamon raisin bagel) We had a perfect meal, the girls had fun talking to each other and I didn't have to feel guilty about not taking the pups on a walk. She even offered for me to come one night a week while Michael is gone!

And I saved the best for last Monica Russell has been amazing!! She is the best neighbor a girl could ask for!!! So far in the past month she has come over to watch Emma sleep at 11:00 PM while I was out of town and Gabby had started to pull her stitches out, she has not only invited me to dinner with her family but they also picked up my check, given me a tube of diaper rash cream that worked on her little one since mine wasn't doing the job, bought and brought me excidrine migraine when I realized that my prescription was out and my baby was sleeping and just today she brought me Cold Stone ice cream just because!!! WOW!!! 

And all I can say and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!

I am blessed beyond measure!

Oh my little ears...

It's happened again...little Emma has her second ear infection :-(  Dr. Livingston says that if we are back in for another one soon we will need to start talking, think about tubes.  I know that Emma is not out to get me but it seems like whenever Michael leaves that is when her little body decides to reject her. We have now made it successfully through 4 days without Daddy...just 52 more to go!! :-) With Michael being gone I am doing better about getting pictures of Emma every day so that Daddy can have a present when he gets out of class each day. They are so strict that he has to keep it in his room but as soon as he gets back there he can check his text messages and see his little girls face! Here are a few that made it to him.

I have the sweetest and happiest little girl! :-) And Daddy is enjoying seeing her photos everyday!! 

Branson Trip

I had my first night away from my sweet little girl this past weekend. Mom and I went to Branson for three nights and it was wonderful!! We have been doing a girls trip every year since graduation from college...the first one! ;-) We have taken a cruise, a trip to a beach to plan my wedding, and Vegas and smaller trips to Little Rock and Memphis too.

Mom came up on Thursday and kept Emma while Michael and I went to dinner for our 6 year anniversary! I can't believe how quickly time has flown by!! It seems like just yesterday we were saying I do and now I am still spending my time with my best friend who made me a wife and most recently a mother!

Anyway back to present day. Right before we left for our dinner at Mesa Luna I got my anniversary present in the mail. I had seen a few friends with something similar and with all the expenses we've had lately I didn't even expect to get this but when I told Michael I wanted this he said DONE! Here are the pictures of each side.

Her birthstone is aqua marine and this way (as if I could ever forget) I will always have a reminder of all her stats in a beautiful piece of jewelry. byHannahDesign on Etsy was where I found this design and I am sooo very happy with it!  We had a wonderful dinner and Mom did great with Emma for those two hours. Maybe soon we will get to spend a whole night with NaNa keeping our beautiful little girl!

Mom and I left that night and had a great time laughing ALL the time and doing some prime shopping for Emma and even a little for us! ;-) Here are some pictures of me and Mom! I am such a lucky lucky gal!

Well looks like two of the pictures are upside down. :( and I still don't know how to rotate those guys but the point is we had some great time just mother and daughter and I can't wait to do it again next year. Mom has already started planning a Mediterranean Cruise but that will likely be many years down the road!

Now we are on our own for then next 55 days while Michael is in GA for some National Guard training. So far we are not sleeping too well thanks to a snotty nose

but we know that even that will pass! We made a trip to Rogers this morning to get Gabby's staples out from her surgery 2 Friday's ago. (she took the stitches out herself) And all is now right in our world. Next on my list of chores is go shopping!! If I don't I am going to be eating protein bars and Hormel meals for ever meal!! But even that will run out soon.

That is all for now! Have a blessed week!!